Very soon after our son got married my eldest daughter, Andrea exchanged vows with her long time boyfriend Peter Berninger. Again I went through the same process of stirring shades of feelings. I guess every parent needs to recognize that they have to let go of their children. Sending the children on their way to a new family life is another milestone that every parent should be able to look forward to with ease. Our responsibilities toward our children ends when their responsibilities to themselves begin. 

Meanwhile my mother (84 years old) who visited us in New York briefly, had to be accompanied back to our country of origin, the Philippines. Armen, my husband made the trip to visit his own aging parents. Being occupied between parents and children's need, Armen and I missed the opening of the deer hunting season.

While my mind had been analyzing each mark in our lives, my husband accepted everything in stride. He continued his daily routine of target practice and his endless fiddling with our bows. After missing the first and second week of the hunting season, my other half set his sights on the third week of hunting. Because of the busy year, Armen scouted only for two days. I did not come on those trips. When hunting time came I relied heavily on his information. I was like a kid coming to class without homework and now stranded in the middle of a test.
 

George & Gina

Nancy & Peter

We were at the woods of Suffolk county in Long Island on the 3rd day of November. Hunting regulations in that county allowed hunters to park in designated spots. Only one car was permitted to park in each assigned parking area and only two hunters were allowed to hunt a certain area near the parking spot. The hunters were expected to walk into the woods one hour before sunrise and out of the woods one after sunset . With these regulations in mind my partner and I agreed to pack up and be out of the area before the allowable time limit. We would meet each other on a predetermined trail at 5:30 p.m. that afternoon, walk out of the woods together toward our car parked on the designated spot and leave. 

It was not daylight when I climbed into my tree stand. My over zealous husband had secured my spot and assisted me before proceeding to his own tree stand about 300 yards from my location. It was a chilly morning and I could feel the cold bite in spite of the many layers of clothing. Sitting on the tree stand on a hushed morning watching the sun come out bathed me with wonderment. My heart wanted to sing "Oh what a Beautiful morning"! As the sun peeped through the horizon touching the branches of the trees, my eyes were filled with pleasure. On the top of my tree stand, about 15 feet high, I admired the breathless beauty of a miniature city of cob webs spun around the branches of the trees. The glistening architecture of silk string appeared only for a few minutes when the sun was at a certain angle & disappeared from sight as the sun continued to rise. As I sat on the tree stand waiting for a deer to come my way, I was kept busy savoring every sight that touched my curiosity. Way beyond, I could see a  cove. The water was blue and the hundreds of white geese appeared like pearls floating on a blue mirror.

Noon came. The crescendo of the beauty of the woods decreased and I had started to focus on the sounds that might herald game. Once in a while the silence of the forest would be interrupted by the rustle of leaves. My heart would pump faster, my senses would suddenly sharpen and tension would creep in while I moved ever so slowly to see if there was an approaching deer. Alas! these were only sounds of squirrel hopping and looking for food. Because of inexperience, I had no idea what kind of noise a deer makes. The flapping of the wings of the birds, the sound of the wind blowing the leaves, the sound of the squirrel or rabbit were enough to put me in attention. As quickly as my body felt the adrenaline rush , the expulsion of energy left as fast leaving my body limp every time these false alarms came.

I spent the whole day experiencing these ups and downs of excitement. I became restless and impatient. I have forgotten the beauty of the woods and adjectives escape me now. By the end of the day I was totally drained and disappointed.

The tree stand was completely ignored by the over abundant, deer populated wood. "Did they smell me? Did they spot me? Was I moving too much? Should I have made all the sounds that the doe make? What did I do wrong?" These were the questions that occupied my mind at the end of the day.

It was getting dark when I climbed down from the tree stand and proceeded cautiously toward our meeting place. While I stood in the middle of the trail waiting for my husband to show up, I heard the now familiar rustle of leaves. "Hmmm must be Armen." I thought. I walked toward the sound coming from around the bend to meet him. To my surprise, there stood majestically, the biggest buck I ever saw in my life. He was 8 yards away, right in the middle of the trail with 10 points sticking out of it's rack that towered higher then my head. My feet were nailed to the ground as we stared at each other.

Both our silhouettes stood surprised in the fading daylight. The deer was not sure what I was, by the way he acted. The animal was not sure whether I was doe or foe. I myself had forgotten the fact that I was holding a bow.  My bewilderment was stopped short when all of a sudden the buck bolted like lightning in the thick bushes. I was left out there mesmerized by the magnificence of the buck's appearance. I have heard of "Buck Fever" striking a hunter. Now I know what it means. Not being able to draw at the moment of encounter is indeed "Buck Fever"!

The brief confrontation with this fine animal left me breathless . It was enough to erase all the frustrations I had that day!! My husband too had not seen any deer that day. He listened intently and was satisfied just to share my excitement. On our way home my husband and I were comfortably silent. We were both tired and were emersed in our own thoughts. I wondered 
if I could have taken the buck I saw, had I shot at it? That is one thought that will linger in my mind FOREVER....
 

L: Arman shows me a buck rub. R: wondering where the deer went.