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John Keltgen's List Of Articles
by John Keltgen MOMS When
one thinks of hunting, we usually think of Dad but John Keltgen reminds
us all who really runs the ship.
If someone asked, “Who had the most influence on you involving the outdoors?” whose name would you provide? Most people, me included, would name a father, an uncle, a brother, a cousin, or some other prominent male figure. It’s human nature to see a male figure as someone who instructs you in the ways of the great outdoors, but is human nature right? What about the person behind the scenes, the one you never think of? Who was the one who, after you returned from a hard winter’s day of pop-gun hunting in the back yard, made that cup of hot chocolate? Who was the one who watched you out the kitchen window with a smile on their face? Who was the one who listened tirelessly to your stories… and believed almost every word of them? I’m talking about Mom, of course! Mothers have been encouraging young hunters and fishermen (or fisherwomen) for years and may single-handedly be responsible for the continuation of the outdoor sports. Just the other day, I thought about all the things that my mom has done to support my enthusiasm for the outdoors over the years. I then realized that Moms must have some kind of secret Mom Handbook passed on from one generation to the next. My own mother called me the other day and said she was worried about me. As we were experiencing wind chills of -40 and I worked outside, I suppose I should’ve been expecting the call. A mother has a right to worry; it’s in the handbook, some kind of international law. I should point out that grandmothers, being Moms themselves, are not only allowed to worry about their children but their grandchildren as well. Therefore, when a grandmother is worried she is allowed to say, “Well Johnny, you can take the boat, but don’t go out of the bay.” A grandson cannot argue with her, even when he is 27 years old, has his own family, and has been on lakes far larger than Pelican. A grandson is allowed, however, to take advantage of his grandmother’s failing eyesight and sneak out of the bay anyway. Moms are also there to keep our stories in check a little bit. They must believe anything that is remotely believable. Example: A child is hunting with his or her BB gun. He regales his Mom with a story of epic proportions, including nearly impossible shots and more birds than he could carry. Moms are supposed to believe some parts and not others. She could say, “Now John, I believe you made some good shots… but you can’t tell me that you shot 20 sparrows.” A son is constrained, by unwritten law, to tone down the story a bit. He may only claim to have shot half the number of birds he previously reported. A Mom, knowing that he likely shot only one or none, must smile and nod her head at this then quickly change the subject. Just knowing that Mom really knows the truth is enough to curb his storytelling in the future. Moms are kind of like unofficial DNR officers, but with imaginary game. Take some time and think back to the days when you were younger. Think about all the times Mom knew you were telling “fish tales”. Think about how she just smiled that quiet smile and turned her head to the obvious truths. Moms have a hard time raising aspiring outdoorsmen (or women) and ask for nothing in return. So, thank your Mom the next time you get the chance. To my own Mom: I’ll remember to “watch that last step” and I’ll keep
the plastic bread bags in my boots until I get home.
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