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Columnists : Lisa Price
Last Updated: Feb 22nd, 2007 - 18:37:03

A Girl's Guide To Hunting
By Lisa Price
Jul 10, 2006, 06:13

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Lisa Price

            I met him at a wedding and was instantly intrigued. But after several weeks passed and I didn’t run into him again, I changed to tactics I learned while hunting.

            First, I scouted. I learned the layout of his general neighborhood and considered his habits. I hoped to fire an arrow in his direction – Cupid’s arrow.

            But after a few more weeks passed, I began to think of him as like that elusive buck, that one you see in the fields during the summer which is never seen again.

            I had given up when our paths crossed by chance in a local state park. But, he already had someone with him.

            She was petite, with long nails and perfect makeup. In fact, the same amount of base makeup could have been used to restore the quarter panels on a 1972 Impala station wagon. She had her eyes trained on him in blank adoration, something like the expression seen on deer in your headlights.

            I caught a blast of her perfume as they stopped to say hello. She had her arm laced through his and she swayed on her high heels, which sank into the dirt path. My heart sank too.

            I’d given up on “petite” in the second grade and didn’t own any shoes with heels. Most of the footwear in my closet had thinsulate and goretex. I did sometimes wear makeup, but it was the green, brown and black kind you smear on your face in a camouflage pattern during deer season. And every now and then I misted myself lightly with a raspberry-scented spray, which was a cover scent.

            Introductions were quick; and goodbyes even quicker. It looked like “beau” season was over, and I hadn’t even gotten a shot. I’d found my quarry, but it had turned out that he was attracted to someone who could have gutted a deer using the nail on her index finger.

            But later, he called. He apologized for cutting our meeting so short. Blind date, he said, and even outside, all that perfume had given him a headache. Was I free for dinner sometime?

            When I went hunting that afternoon, I had a spring in my step and a feeling of optimism. After all, I knew the secrets of a successful hunt.

 

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